Step 1: Get Clear on the Blessing
The Value of the Blessing
“In the entire life of True Father, do you know what the most valuable thing I can imagine is? It is the Blessing. For all of you, the ultimate gift in human history is the Blessing. The value of the Blessing cannot be exchanged even for the world. The Blessing is one man and one woman, centering on God’s will, becoming true father and true mother, producing true love.”
“Your ideal partner is the person who will be your companion on the road to the ideal world.”
“The perfection of a man and woman’s love is the perfection of the universe. The day this love was broken, the universal order was destroyed and the vertical world was broken. Therefore, you must know how important marriage is from the providential viewpoint. Through true love, man and woman gradually get closer to the center of the eternal world. Man and woman centering on God will unite into one in the center. Man and woman centering on God, giving and receiving love, will become one and will give birth to sons and daughters. Sons and daughters who are born as the fruit of love, through give and take action centering on parents who are one with God, will produce the four position foundation.”
“A man should know that the woman standing in front of him is God’s daughter and humankind’s daughter. If you can love her as a woman who is loved by humankind and love her as God’s beloved daughter, you are qualified to be her husband. But otherwise you are not.”
“It is the same for women. Do not think, ‘He is my man.’ Before saying that he is your man, think of him as God’s son and a man representing the masculinity of humankind. You will pass if you are a woman who can love him more than humankind does and more than God does.”
“You should have a creed that you get married not for your own sake but for the sake of your partner. It is wrong to expect to receive a talented person or a pretty person for your spouse. Once human beings understand the principle of living for the sake of others, they should embrace the idea that they will also get married for the sake of their partners. By our marriage standards, a husband should have the conviction that no matter what his partner is like, he will see her as the most beautiful and smartest person.”
“Unless you decide that you will love your partner like God, like humankind, and more than anyone else in the world, you cannot be restored to the heavenly kingdom. If you, as a man, do not know how to love a woman, you cannot love God and humankind.”
“In the mineral, plant and animal kingdoms masculinity and femininity – that is, the sexual organs – are reserved for the sake of one’s partner of love. Adam and Eve did not know this. Then why do the sexual organs exist? For love. Thus male and female exist in order to find love.”
“If all men and women admit that their sexual organ belongs to their spouse, we all would bow our heads and become humble when we receive our spouse’s love. Love comes to you only through your partner. There is no love other than love for the sake of others. We must remember that we can find absolute love wherever we absolutely live for the sake of others.”
“When a man and a woman become husband and wife, the important thing is how to achieve unchanging unity between them. When they sing of eternal happiness in such unchanging unity, this is eternal happiness. The standard of an ideal heart of love can only be established with an unchanging subject.”
“You should not defile your purity during your adolescence, the precious time when you can overcome and indemnify the bitter failure of Adam and Eve who lost their purity during their youth. In preserving that purity, which is pristine and of great value, you should have the mind and determination that even if you had to live alone for a thousand or ten thousand years, your love would never be misused.”
Parents’ Role in Matching Their Children
“I want you to understand that you are the pioneers of the tradition of the future. You are making the mold for others to fit into. I want you to prepare your home and clan for every eventuality. You must be ready to learn and take over the tradition.”
“You may be thinking, ‘It is only Father who can do the Matching, not us;’ however, that is not so. You are all able to do the Matching, because God, who is supporting me, is also supporting you, just the same.”
“The promise between the Blessed Family and me is fulfilled when the Second Generation born to that family receives the Blessing.”
During a speech at a recent celebration of the True Day of All Things, Father confronted a church leader who was taking an active role in recommending a spouse to a member of the Second Generation. Father admonished him saying, “How can you leaders take responsibility for the eternal lives of the Second Generation?” Father gave authority over and responsibility for matching Second Generation to their parents, not to the leaders, not to the church, and not to Second Generation.”
“In the dispensational view, the vertical connection is eternal and more important than the horizontal, which is temporal. That’s why parents must be a part of choosing the mate. This doesn’t mean that parents should arbitrarily choose partners for their children, but rather the parents should be involved, representing heaven, in order to ensure the harmony of the vertical and horizontal relationship. This is the meaning of the Blessing.”
“You may be thinking, ‘It is only Father
who can do the Matching, not us;’ however, that is not so. You are all able
to do the Matching, because God, who is supporting me, is also supporting you, just the same.”
True Father’s Words on Matching
“The ideal partner (ideal mate) in Father’s mind is completely different from the ideal partner we imagine. The ideal partner that True Father thinks of is a match of completely opposite types, such as spring and fall types, summer and winter types, etc. True Father says, ‘When a North-pole type person is matched with a South-pole type person, then out of such a couple a child will be born who has a huge capacity to embrace the entire globe.’”
“More than anything, one’s love partner should establish an ideal harmony and balance. You should think that the person who appears as your beloved spouse is a son or daughter of God, whom He truly loves, and that therefore He may come disguised as the ugliest person. If you love your husband or wife with those eyes, it has the same significance as loving God’s son and daughter.”
Candidate’s Attitude and Heart in the Matching Process
“The term ‘ideal spouse’ is very good, is it not? Until now, you have thought that an ideal spouse is like this or like that. No matter how good your partner is, you will not find his or her value unless you have within you the quality to do so. Do you understand what I am saying? Where is your capacity to discover whether or not your spouse is excellent? Without you yourself being the best, you cannot find the very essence of your spouse’s excellence.”
“It is through the merit of investing myself that my partner is moved and comes to appear as an object with value. God created heaven and earth not just to see them as they are. He created in order to love, with heart as the basis. In the same way, the only thing that matters in re-creation is acting with the heart as the guide. Even though Adam and Eve are small, in the world they are not seen as small but big.”
“Until now, wives have put themselves at the center, and husbands have put themselves at the center, with both wanting to be served. This has been destroying relationships. Since the basis of love does not come from me, but from my spouse, if I am to possess that love, I must sacrifice myself for that love. Love requires patience and absolutely demands sacrifice.”
“Men naturally pursue women, but for what purpose – to receive love or to give love? That is the most important question. It is a serious problem that American people have not understood how universal law works. You should never think, ‘I’m so glad I’m getting married because now my life will be easier. I will have someone to… serve me.’ But all of a sudden, that is not what happens and you start to complain, ‘Hey, what’s happening here?’ Your first concept was wrong; you are not supposed to get married in order to make your life easier. You should think that your life will get tougher, but you should be willing to do it in order to give love.”
“Love cannot be realized by oneself. Where does love come from? Love does not come from me but from my spouse. Since love comes from my spouse, I must bow my head and serve her. This is where the heavenly principle of living for the sake of others originates. When something highly noble comes to me, I must honor and serve it in order to receive it. We must live the philosophy of living for the sake of others.”
“Let’s say there is a good-looking person among the blessing candidates. He or she might look splendid on the outside. But what is important is whether or not that person has the value to exist in the future in front of the will of God. That is the primary question for the partner whom that person meets.”
“Therefore, our marriages are for the sake of our descendants. Thus, even though candidates might appear unsuitable in some way, the problem is how to match people so that their children inherit only their parent’s good points.”
“Where does love come from? Love does not come from me but from my spouse. Since love comes from my spouse, I must bow my head and serve her. This is where the heavenly principle of living for the sake of others originates.”