How to Avoid Dissolving the Blessing (Part 3)
This article is part of a three-part series about Blessing Success & Avoiding Blessing Dissolution:
Contributed by Christian Nseka, BFM Assistant Director
Any conjugal relationship between two individuals is bound to face some challenges. Any conjugal relationship between two individuals who have not perfected their characters can end in divorce. And any marriage that has been blessed by the True Parents or by the representatives of the True Parents, a marriage known in brief as the Blessing, can also face the same fate.
The Blessing is a conjugal relationship that is contracted for and with God. In general, when people are preparing for the Blessing, they do so with God in mind. They think more about God than themselves. And, when they do think about themselves, they do so in the context of the fulfillment of God’s ideal. In other words, those who receive God’s blessing on their marriage do so because they want to bring about God’s Kingdom. They establish such a holy matrimony not necessarily for themselves, but mostly for God and the fulfillment of His ideal.
This means that the Blessing, also known as the Marriage Blessing, is a conjugal relationship that is established for a purpose that is higher than simply satisfying one person's dreams and desires. It is about satisfying God’s dreams and ideals through me. By the same token, it is about satisfying my dreams and desires through God’s dreams and desires. This means that my dreams and desires are object to God’s dreams and desires. How wonderful is this?
Unfortunately, it is no secret that those of us who have received the Marriage Blessing are not perfected individuals by God’s standard. This means that, though blessed, our conjugal relationships may go through challenges and even experience a dissolution.
The decision to break the Blessing, i.e., Blessing Dissolution, is not an easy one. Though it may seem as if it has been made on the whim because it was pronounced in less than a minute using only a few words, it is usually a decision that is not taken lightly. Neither is it taken based on one incident. It is usually a decision that is formulated through time, a pile of heartbreaks, a mountain of disappointments, a valley of sorrows, and more. How to avoid dissolving the Blessing?
One effective way to avoid dissolving the Blessing is by returning to the beginning. Blessed Couples who revisit and revive the reason why they received the Blessing will more than likely not dissolve it.
Once again, the Blessing is a conjugal relationship that is established for and with God. Those who go to the Blessing do so for and with God. So, once Blessed Couples start thinking more about themselves and less about God, that’s when their Blessing starts to suffer. As long as both spouses keep God as the center of their conjugal relationship, their Blessed Marriage will be fine even if they face other difficulties. When one of the spouses starts to focus more on himself or herself instead of focusing on God, that’s when a Blessed Marriage will start to face challenges. In other words, whenever one spouse starts to live less for the sake of the other, that’s when their Blessed Marriage will start to suffer. And when both spouses start to focus more on their personal happiness rather than living for the sake of their relationship, or rather than living for the sake of their family, that’s when life is sucked out of their Blessed Marriage. At that point, the more likely outcome will be the end of their Blessed Marriage.
At times, the Blessing is also dissolved when one spouse goes to the extremes in a way that the other spouse cannot compensate for regardless of how much the latter keeps God as the center.
In short, Blessed Marriages end when God is no longer the center of the relationship. Think about this: How many Blessed Couples do you know that have taken the initiative to end their Blessing while thinking about God? The Blessing starts with God but ends without God.
God is not abstract. He lives in each of the Blessed Spouses. He should be manifested by each of the Blessed Spouses. Furthermore, each Blessed Spouse ought to see God in their spouse. This means that each Blessed Spouse should live as God’s representative. There would be no lack of love, no abuse, no infidelity, and, definitely, no Blessing Dissolution if each spouse lived with this awareness.
Given that we are not perfect by God’s standard, the Blessing can also serve as a training ground for our perfection.
Let’s take advantage of this precious gift that we’ve been given by God and by our True Parents.
Thank you for reading.
This article is part of a three-part series about Blessing Success & Avoiding Blessing Dissolution:
