The Matching and Three Year Separation
by Larry Krishneck
The first marriage Blessing that was held after I became a Unificationist, was in 1975. 1800 couples were Blessed in Korea. That made things more real for me because a lot of my seniors in faith participated. Prior to that I was in awe of “Blessed Couples” in an unrealistic kind of way.
Four years later, in 1979, I participated in the matching (engagement) of 705 (I think!) couples. The Venue was the Grand Ballroom of the New Yorker Hotel. I had six years of front line church activity under my belt and was no longer a novice. I was an MFT Commander in Indianapolis, Indiana. We had been preparing for our Mother’s Day flower campaign when we got the news of the Matching. It was painful to have to see so many flowers wasted, but what was ahead of us erased those thoughts very quickly.
I believe the matching took 2 days to complete and it was amazing! Watching True Father work and then seeing the reactions of people as he grabbed them, pulled them, pointed to them, looked them over and then slammed them together, was an unparalleled spectacle.
The room was arranged categorically. I couldn’t tell you how, all I know is that I was farther back than I wanted to be. I believe Father started with matching interracial couples. He asked who wanted to be Blessed with black brothers or sisters. Then he carefully questioned the volunteers prior to granting the request. Early on, he began matching Seminary students to Japanese. I began to get antsy at this stage because I had a very strong compulsion to be Blessed to a Japanese woman. I felt, from my experience, that I would be best complemented by a Japanese person. So, in a very uncharacteristic way, I left my assigned position and began to work my way through the crowd of male bodies to the front where Father was at work. I need not have made the effort because at that point the MFT Leaders were the next group called up.
It wasn't long until my turn came. Father was being assisted by Dr. Bo Hi Pak and, because Mr. Kamiyama was our Central Figure, he was up there to answer questions and provide support. Early on, I was called up. Father looked me over, then began to scan the several rows of ladies in front of him. He gestured for one young woman to stand, as she was rising up, someone (a voice) said “Oh, she’s not Japanese..” and she was asked to sit down. Try to put yourself in my position - I knew that lady and she’s still around today - every time I see her face in a video or photo somewhere, that moment returns! Destiny shifted in a moment.
I had no time to ponder this, because Father looked directly below him, practically at his feet, and called on my future wife to stand. That was another shock, because I knew this lady too. She was the right hand “Team Mother” for Mr. Tate who was a high power, MFT commander with a very successful Region. I had seen her once before at a meeting but that was all I knew of her. In my mind, I had just been matched to “Mr. Tate’s Team Mother!” - a scary proposition.
The Messiah had done his work and now it was time for us to decide if we would accept it. Following protocol, we went upstairs to the balcony to have our first chat. I don’t remember what we talked about but Akemi recalls that I asked if her parents would be receptive to an American husband. She thought that was very wise of me; I didn’t ask some “stupid question” such as, “Do you like me?” Her words!
But, it was a short talk along the lines of “Is it okay with you? It’s okay with me”. The final step was to go downstairs, bow to True Mother, noting our acceptance, and leave the room. As I started down, I was suddenly enveloped in this powerful feeling of gratitude. I felt like weeping and nearly lost my footing. My ancestors knew better than me how much this pairing meant and they were profoundly grateful.
This was the matching. I don’t recall the actual time frame, but within the next couple of days, the “internal’ part of the process was conducted which included drinking the Holy Wine. Once again, details about the meaning of this ceremony can be found at Tparents.org.
Refreshed, reassembled and somewhat rattled, we all returned to our mission areas to continue our work and to begin the three year period of separation and preparation for our future Blessing in 1982. I know Akemi and I had very different perspectives at the start of our lives as a couple. Perhaps the only thing we shared was our faith in True Parents and our commitment to the Providence of Restoration. Other than that, we were strangers who knew that we had to figure each other out if our eternity together was going to be a good one!
Although my commitment was absolute, I was not entirely happy. As I said earlier, I had been matched to “Mr. Tate’s Team Mother!’ That meant she had to be a Heavenly soldier of the highest order and no one is better at filling that role than a Japanese person. I’m guessing here, but knowing my wife, she likely felt she knew all she needed to know about American boys through her experience thus far in the US. I could write a chapter on this matter alone - perhaps I will, but later.
I appreciate some romance in life. I’m not greedy; just a little here and there will do. For my 9 years of Church life, I had been remarkably pure in body and mind. Given my life previous to that, It's a bit of a miracle that I could be so transformed. I didn’t open myself to give and take with the least bit of promiscuous thought or action. This matter is at the core of everything and I understood it well. So, now the door was open - though slightly, for legitimate “Platonic” engagement and I was anxious to share some heart with my precious treasure from True Parents. Sounds weird, and I can see your eyes rolling, but it’s true.
Akemi, on the other hand, hasn’t got a romantic bone in her body. You may suspect I’m exaggerating but you can ask her yourself. I’m sure she will confirm it. (I have some letters from those days that I will scan and add to this memoir at a later date. In legal terms, they would be “supporting documentation!”)
God must have thought I needed some encouragement in order to realize her value so he provided me with a few very vivid dreams to make the point.
The setting of the first dream was an elegant dining room such as you would find in an old mansion. It was similar to the architecture of the original East Garden house. Several American guys were sitting around the table joking, laughing and having fun. I was sitting opposite the door. It opened and a woman entered and stood there. She was quite regal in demeanor and dress. She was very sophisticated and radiated a certain authority that all felt.
We immediately stopped what we were doing and collectively assumed a kind of reverent attitude with our eyes cast down. I glanced up to look at her and was shocked to realize it was Akemi! Then I woke up. That gave me something to think about.
I dreamt again, not long after this first one. The evening before I had been preparing some new Holy Salt. It’s used to symbolically purify material things before we use them and there’s a particular procedure used to multiply it. This was my first experience and, although I had a document guiding me through the process, I had some doubt as to how “Holy” the salt I multiplied would be.
I followed the guidelines and soon had a good amount of new Holy Salt.
That night, I dreamt of True Father - Rev. Moon. Again, the dream was vivid. He was sitting cross legged in the middle of my bed - the very place I had spread out a plastic sheet and made the salt earlier that day. I was kneeling on the floor by the bed, just as I was when I was working with the salt.
At the foot of the bed there were several people lined up. Father called them up one by one. They would share some testimony or offer some praise of Akemi, step aside and the next person would come up and do the same. I can still see that scene, just as I can clearly visualize the first dream.
That experience gave me even more to ponder.
The third dream was different. Akemi and I were at the foot of a steep, rocky hill. There were two vehicles like ATV’s there. Akemi immediately jumped on one and began to ascend the hill, tires spinning and rocks flying. I was having trouble understanding how to drive the thing so I started dragging it up after me while being pelted by rocks from Akemi’s vehicle and feeling very downhearted because she was so adept and I didn’t have a clue what to do.
I eventually reached the summit where Akemi was sitting on one rock, and True Mother was sitting on another. I sat down next to Mother with my head hanging down, feeling low. She leaned over, kissed me on the neck and said: “don’t worry, you’ll be my son someday.” Still working on that.