The Spirit of Van Gogh

by Carol Pobanz

Whenever I think about the reality of the spirit world, this story comes to mind. It’s a bit of a long story but one of my favorites to tell. This occurrence was during my last year of college (Philadelphia College of Art) just after I officially joined the Unification Movement but had not yet moved into the center. 

My senior year at college was a very busy one. While so much of my time was consumed by my Unification activities, at the same time I felt anxious to complete my school work.  I shared my concern one day with Alan McCloud, a Scottish brother who to me seemed so wise because he could lecture the Divine Principle so well.  Alan, I thought, had such an extraordinary faith in the spirit world. He asked me one day, “Who is your favorite artist?”  “Vincent van Gogh,” I told him.  “Then, he said, you should ask Van Gogh in the spirit world to help you successfully finish your school work during this final year.” I thought at the time that that was an absurd idea, regardless of the pressures that I felt. Nonetheless, one day I decided to include a request for help from Van Gogh in my prayer, figuring that there was no harm in trying. 

The Christmas break was coming around. I had prepared my schedule for the second half of the school year – my final semester of college.  My courses were quite straightforward. I took one class in Art History. The course was a comparative study of the lives of van Gogh and Gauguin.

While I was at home on break, I remember catching myself in a habit of using the word “peculiar.” I even remember that on the day I returned to my dorm, I stood in front of my door and thought to myself, “How peculiar it is that I keep saying ‘peculiar’.”

Well, during the next week, I went to the library to begin work on a paper I was assigned to write on the life of van Gogh.  I opened the first book, a very large book on van Gogh’s life, and read, “At the age of 21 the word that best described van Gogh was ‘peculiar’.” Wow, what a coincidence, I thought, and then went on to read about how before van Gogh became an artist, he felt called to be a missionary.  He had gone to live amongst the poor farm families, the ones who eventually became the subjects of his earlier paintings (the potato eaters).  Eventually his brother Theo was forced to retrieve him since he was so deeply consumed by his work that he became ill.  He had literally given everything including the shirt off his back.

I began to feel a deep kinship with van Gogh.  I was often reminded of him throughout those days since the song “Starry Starry Night” by Don McLean was popular at that time (1970s).

I also read that at a certain point in his career, as an artistic painter he chose to work on a square format, and so I decided that perhaps, if I followed his format, I might make a deeper connection with van Gogh.

My drawing began to take on a sort of delicate but rhythmic line – almost a sort of feminine van Gogh look, and I worked throughout the semester to develop this work.

By the end of the semester, I had produced a sizable portfolio of work and began to prepare for my final show, the equivalent of an academic thesis for an art school.  

I think my work was relatively good.  I had five very good drawings and seven good pieces of work.  My favorite of these was a drawing I had done during the final week before the show, a drawing done on a 12”x12” Basingwork Paper, a drawing of irises.  I bought irises to draw from, connecting with one of my favorite paintings of van Gogh.

The day of my show was nearing.  The day before the show, I went to the assigned studio to hang my drawings under glass.  I bought the glass and pins in North Philadelphia in the morning and then went to the studio to hang my work.  While preparing the drawings, a student approached me saying that a class would be held in that room during the next period – and asked if I would mind coming back after lunch to prepare for the show. I assured him it would be okay and I would be fine returning after the class was over.

After lunch, I returned to the room, laid out my materials and began to arrange my work on the floor, the seven good drawings and five very good drawings – a decent show. 

First, I put the five very good drawings behind me on the floor, and the seven good drawings to the side.  I placed five pieces of glass in front of me, each cut to the size of the drawings. 

As I was arranging the glass, I heard someone come into the hallway.  Behind the room where I was working there was another studio space up three stairs.  I thought that whoever came in had gone up those stairs. I went to check but no one was there.  So, I returned to my work area, sat down and continued arranging the glass. Then I turned to get the very good drawings I had placed behind me, to put under the glass, but when I turned to where I had left them, they were gone.  I felt confused, because I knew that I had put them behind me. 

Thinking that perhaps I had been mistaken, I searched the other pile of drawings, and in my portfolio, and then all over the room.  Finding nothing, I went into the office and asked if anyone there had seen my work. But no one had. This show weighed heavily on my final grade and for my entire four years in college. Not knowing what else to do, I returned home determined to draw the best drawings I had ever done in my life. I had no choice but to work through the night.

Though the irises were not dead they were beginning to droop or rather curl.  I pulled out some 12”x12” Basingwork Paper and began the “second iris drawing.” I worked nonstop for hours, completing the drawing at about 2am.  Though I was under pressure with this drawing, it turned out better than the first.  It would definitely improve the show of the remaining work but I really needed more.  So, as a last-ditch effort, I began a “third iris drawing” and, in fact, that one came out better than the second. I finished at 5am.

At 7am when the studio opened, I went with the two new drawings and I added three more mediocre drawings, thus fulfilling the required 12 pieces. As I walked into the studio, I noticed that the office was open, so again with optimism I went to ask if anyone had located my work.

In the office I found two people, Mr. Soviak, who was one of the painting teachers, and a student whom I’d never seen before.  I explained to Mr. Soviak that I had lost my five drawings and asked if anyone had turned anything in, as these pieces were important to for my final show.  No, he assured me, no one had turned anything in.  At that moment, the student, who was quietly standing by, suggested that since he had been in the studio for a class the day before, maybe someone had mistakenly put my drawings into his portfolio.  He left the room, walked up into the studio with the three stairs and returned with my five lost drawings.  In the end, I used five good drawings from the original seven good pieces.  Then there were seven very good drawings, and among those was a trilogy of iris drawings which became the centerpiece to the show. I aced the year as a result of this show!

Did van Gogh have anything to do with this in answer to my prayer for assistance? I don’t know. What are the chances of two people being in the office at 7 o’clock in the morning? Pretty slim chance and, even more so, what are the chances of an unknown student whose portfolio someone mysteriously put my drawings into the day before being in that office at 7 o’clock in the morning?  Did someone enter and go up those three stairs, taking my drawings and dropping them into that portfolio? Was it van Gogh? Was it a spirit? Was it God? I don’t know, but something happened that day which I cannot explain in normal terms. Something happened that day, which was directed by something spiritual and supernatural.

In any case, the result was that I learned that I work better under pressure, and I aced the semester and, consequently, the entire year.

Carol Pobanz 1973

Carol with Kerry and Charlie 2020

Van Gogh , Irises

all photos are from carol pobanz