The Matching
By Robert Beebe
Near the end of May 1982, True Father announced that there would be a matching and Blessing in the next month. For the first time since joining the church, I began to face the reality that there would soon be another half of me. I began to feel strongly that there really was a part of me that was missing: someone to have give-and-take with and generate God’s love, and to challenge me to go beyond myself.
By that time, I had been at UTS for nine months and, despite the many stories of Father visiting Barrytown on a regular basis, he had not come at all in that time. That was about to change. In the course of the next month, Father would come to seminary five times. The first time I was out fundraising, but I heard he took a walk around before sitting on a bench down by the pond where he spoke to students and staff. In the afternoon he went fishing. The next three times he came just to go fishing down by the third railroad bridge north of UTS. Several brothers would assist him while others watched or did their own fishing.
Sitting in the library the day after one of those times, while reading about Jesus’ relationship to fishing in the Gospel of John, my mind wandered to recall Father’s visits. Jesus said that “a prophet has no honor in his own country” because of the horizontal familiarity people have with him. After the previous day’s experience, I could understand the truth of this statement—how we habitually judge people by their outward appearance and fail to see the person inside due to the underdevelopment of our own hearts.
I felt that, in reality, Father was a simple man who enjoyed and experienced things like anyone else. He didn’t put on any airs, didn’t try to impress anyone, or do anything to make people like him. Because of the simplicity in the way he related to nature and people, it was easy to misjudge him if our hearts were not in the right place. He did not act to protect himself, which in this fallen world we are too apt to take advantage of—as people have been doing to Father all throughout his life. Yet, he harbored no resentment but just carried on. He would retain an innocent and humble quality about him, pure in heart and free in his feelings as a small boy, yet with incredible wisdom and patience as a father. That was my experience being around him.
These thoughts were particularly striking to me given the way Father was being treated in the court case that was proceeding at that time in New York. Day after day for weeks on end he had to sit and listen to insults and ridicule by a young and ambitious lawyer who painted Father as some kind of wheeler-dealer motivated by arrogance, power, and greed.
When Father fished, it was as if he were praying. His concentration was total. Usually, he would speak very little. Especially then, he was coming at a very serious time, with the matching, Blessing, and court case occurring all at once. Through fishing, I felt that he was communing with God.
The day before we were to leave for the matching in New York, Father came up once again to fish. It turned out to be one of the most precious experiences of my life. All day our class had been working hard to prepare for the upcoming graduation, part of which, unbeknownst to me, involved working with my future wife, weeding flowers and raking newly cut grass behind the building by the soccer field.
Late in the afternoon, Patsy Johnson, one of God’s heavenly daughters, invited me to go with some others down to the river to watch Father fish. There, all was quiet with perhaps ten other people there. As it developed, Dr. Joon Ho Seuk, who was special assistant to the seminary president at the time, invited me out to the dock where Father was. The fish weren’t biting much, so he was just sitting there on an overturned pickle bucket in his fishing cap and sneakers. Craig Dahl, his “fishing buddy,” was talking to him about fishing, sailing, and some idea he had about catching our own bait.
Dr. Seuk introduced me to Father, telling him that I was unmatched. Immediately Father asked if I would like an Asian fiancée. I said yes (more on this later) and asked Father jokingly if they were the best kind. Father just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Then I helped Father fish a little, baiting his hooks and handing him his pole. He pointed out the swirling water to me flowing from under the bridge. He spoke in English although he didn’t say more than a few words at a time.
His presence was very fatherly and he radiated pure love. He was very much at peace with himself. By looking at him, it was hard to realize that this man had suffered so much throughout his life. With all the world’s burdens on his shoulders, he could still be there totally for me. When I spoke, he would listen intently, even asking me to repeat things he didn’t understand, and when he spoke he looked right into my eyes. I was amazed and grateful to have had this experience with True Father right before the matching.
The next day, June 23, thirty-two of us drove down from Barrytown to New York City. I drove one of the vans and recalled later, just before pulling out, looking in the rear view mirror and seeing the student who would become my wife sitting all the way in the back. That evening we had an orientation in the Grand Ballroom of the New Yorker Hotel, pure white and beautifully lit by chandeliers. We listened to various talks about the significance of the Blessing and attended a session concerning more practical guidance with Rev. Ken Sudo, Nora Spurgin, and David Hose forming a panel. The most prevalent questions concerned sexual issues and what to do if Father asked for those who had certain preferences. Mrs. Spurgin noted that it does mean a preference. “If you raised your hand, be ready to take responsibility for your choice.”
Whether to volunteer for an Asian fiancée weighed heavily on my mind. On the one hand, I felt it did not make any difference one way or another. Whoever Father chose would be fine with me. However, my thinking was that I ought to volunteer because of the stress Father put on East-West matches. Still, I knew that, if I did, it would be a half-hearted volunteering.
The next day we gathered in the ballroom at 8am. Father arrived at 9:15 and spoke until 1:30, at first making jokes to relieve the tension that everyone was surely feeling. Finally, he asked whether he should talk some more or “get down to work.” (Everyone: “GET DOWN TO WORK!”) Yet he went on talking, eventually becoming very serious and gave us a lecture on the meaning of the Blessing and its relationship to Home Church. He wanted us to understand what a great blessing it was to be there despite our lack of qualification. He emphasized that we had not come there simply to find a partner but for our own rebirth.
Then, that afternoon at 3:00 Father began the matching. He suddenly walked out into the crowd of sisters on one side and brothers on the other, dividing them like the Red Sea. People scrambled to get out of his way. He “warmed up” by selecting 10 international matches, followed by a few Korean matches. We seminarians were asked to stand up a couple of times, then told to sit down again.
After about three hours and with some nudging from UTS President David Kim, Father called all the seminarians out to line up. As we got up, I thought, “Well, this is it.” All that I had been preparing for was about to happen. I tried to settle my mind to be there totally for God and to harbor no selfish thoughts. The brothers were lined up on one side, sisters on the other. I found myself standing across from one of my classmates. We looked at each other. I thought to myself, “Are you the one?”
Father walked up and down between the two sides. As he did, I felt how much I loved him as a father and grateful for what he had done for me. My heart was pounding with excitement and my stomach was tied in knots. Yet I felt a deep confidence in his ability to choose the right person for me, i.e., the person with whom I could raise a family and give rise to a lineage that would be a champion for God, someone who could be embracing in love and stand fearless before evil.
Father matched a couple of seminarians with seminary graduates, one with a sister from MFT, and two pairs of seminarians were matched to each other. Then, Father pointed at me and took a sister I had fundraised with in Indiana and came to the seminary with, Karen Fallwell, and brought her over to me and slammed us together. From that point on my head was swimming. We bowed together to Father and headed for the balcony to discuss and decide whether to accept Father’s choice. With Karen walking in front of me, thunderous cheers went up from the crowd of brothers and sisters. I could only shake my head in disbelief.
When we reached the balcony, we sat next to a seminary couple who had been matched just before us. Of course, they were surprised to see us. We just sat there together for a few moments—stunned. All I could say was “I don’t believe it!” over and over. Finally, I got up and poured a round of water for everyone.
In reality, there was not much to talk about. There was never any question in either of our minds. Karen and I simply prayed together, albeit somewhat incoherently in our current state of shock, pledging ourselves together in deep gratitude to God.
For me, when Father put us together, I felt immediately this could only be God’s love. As long as I had known Karen, my heart had always gone out to her. I felt she was really a wonderful sister, although she struggled a lot and her spirit was often up and down. She had a certain vitality and freshness of spirit that could really win people. She could easily get excited about things. Out in Indiana and as we came to the seminary together, I thought more than once how I’d like to be matched with her. Yet I didn’t want to have any give-and-take with that kind of thinking. I knew that the choice had to be Heavenly Father’s and, with the hundreds (thousands?) of available sisters in the church, both in America and around the world, in my mind the chances of that particular match happening were nil. Besides, I felt that would be just my preference from my own limited perspective. Heavenly Father would know better who would be right for me.
Karen Fallwell and Bob Beebe on MFT in Indiana
But through our matching, I learned that God really works on the basis of love. He must have sensed my heart—and Karen’s, too. (As we headed up the steps to the balcony, Karen turned to me and said in her Texas accent, “I sensed it a-comin’.”)
After we prayed, Karen and I stayed up in the balcony a while to watch the fate of our fellow seminarians be decided. There would be a few other seminarians matched to each other. We found out later that, back in Barrytown, our fellow students who had been matched on a previous occasion, were placing bets on which seminarians would be matched to each other. I learned that John Raucci got our match correct.
After 20 minutes or so we came down, bowed to True Father again, and went downstairs. We were met by Ken Owens who took our picture. We then signed a list together and walked through a set of doors leading out into the lobby of the New Yorker.
What we encountered on the other side was a complete shock! Hundreds of people were gathered around cheering as we came out. People came up to me, shaking my hand, embracing Karen, and taking pictures. An immense wave of joy swelled around us. As we walked around the lobby meeting people and waiting for other couples to emerge from behind those doors, the atmosphere was one of total joy. It was the most incredible high of my life. People were just so happy for each other.
I believe God was happiest of all. I felt, after thousands of years of sorrow, he was weeping great tears of joy for all of us. His only desire throughout the tortuous course of history was that we could be happy. Finally, he could give us a taste of that joy by giving us our eternal mates. Each pair was different, yet each seemed so right.
We cannot imagine the magnitude of the joy Heavenly Father wants to give us. Our faith is usually so shallow that we’d rather hold on to some small thing that provides some security. But if we can willingly place ourselves in God’s hands, so much is there waiting for us. That was my experience that day