Marriage Testimony
photo credit: Christine Libon
As the wife, this is my small testimony. Right now our marital relationship is quite good. Retiring from our jobs was very good for us. It took away the stresses and exhaustion that added extra tension to our relationship. It gave us time to be together and do more things together. It also helped us understand how important it is to create a peaceful atmosphere at home. We are both very grateful to have each other in our senior years.
After being newly married and blessed, I personally began to see my husband’s shortcomings. Sure, I was kind of righteous and pointed out the things my husband didn’t do correctly. Though my intention was to help my spouse improve, focusing on his faults blinded me so that I was unable to appreciate his good points. One major bad habit became a nearly insurmountable obstacle.
With prayer, commitment to eternal marriage on both our parts, perseverance, guidance from our pastor and other exemplary married/blessed couples, and “time,” we have been able to overcome. But there were times when I wanted to give up. I didn’t even want to go to my pastor/counselor for help because I knew he would say “stay together,” and in those challenging moments I did not want to stay together. In desperation, I did seek counsel and it helped. And the support from other couples helped both me and my husband.
More than a few teachings from True Parents strengthened and supported us as well. “The woman should be like water flowing over the jagged rocks and making them smooth.” Well, this was a far cry from how I was in daily life. “Man and woman start 180 degrees apart; when they unite, the entire cosmos becomes one.” This continuously inspired me. I should have read and accepted key points from books like Women are from Venus; Men are from Mars. It could have saved me years of struggle, but my nature is to learn from trial and error… which I did. I had to learn to control my emotions, and not allow them to dictate my reactions.
Other sayings proved helpful: “Pray, pray, pray, and see a little (tiny) change; pray more and see a little more change,” one Japanese sister told me. I considered myself to be a patient person; this statement made me realize that much more patience was required. “The husband and wife are each other’s savior (the children are also their parents’ savior).” I know that this is true. My husband knows me, both my shortcomings and my virtues, better than anyone. And so, husband and wife have the potential to help each other immensely, if we are committed to the end.
I recognize that though, externally, my husband doesn’t seem to be churchgoing or religious, he is internally very religious. We have totally different personalities. My husband holds many things inside himself. When he notices my fault, he silently decides how to deal with it, how to nurture me in a sense. I very much appreciate of this trait of his.
photo credit: Christine Libon