Contributed by Christian Nseka
The Blessing Interview is one of the required steps to becoming a matching candidate in the United States. Given that it is about reflecting on past mistakes and then reporting them to a Blessing Interviewer, the Blessing Interview can be rather intimidating. Should it be?
Considering the value of the Blessing Interview and the challenges that may arise, the National BFM has developed a system of making both the interviewer and the interviewee feel more comfortable throughout the process. To this end, a training has been developed to certify Blessed Couples who wish to help applicants who seek to fulfill the Blessing Interview requirement. These Blessed Couples are trained and certified volunteers who are willing to make themselves available for this purpose. Also, they have sworn absolute confidentiality. Click here for a list of Certified Blessing Interviewers.
Here is what a Blessing Interviewer, David Wolfenberger, has shared about his experience in conducting the Blessing Interview:
“The concept I had of the Blessing Interview was a required formality for the Blessing. I didn’t feel passionate to become an interviewer.
Through my involvement with High Noon (HN), I’ve had a chance to realize the importance of allowing a person to share their story.
With High Noon, I have traveled all over the world, speaking with people about pornography and intimacy. I’ve had all sorts of people share their stories with me. Things that they never shared with another person. Young & old, married & single, laypersons & pastors, students and national leaders. Through sharing the stuff in their life that they are least proud of without being judged or condemned, they could feel God‘s grace in a more powerful way than they ever felt in their life.
I attempt to look at them with eyes of love through God’s eyes and see them no differently after they share their confession than before and through that, to convey unconditional love.
My goal is for them to experience that every dark secret in their life can be known by another person and they can be loved absolutely and so very much.
My experience as a Blessing Interviewer as well as with HN is that by allowing a person to experience God’s unconditional love, they can feel liberated from the shame and burdens of their past mistakes, which they have carried for an entire lifetime.
What was really unexpected for me is that it’s not only the person giving the confession who is transformed, but that the interviewer experiences transformation as well. I am asked to set aside all judgement, desiring only that this person be freed from their past to become the person whom God is calling them to be, so that they can create a beautiful radiant Blessing. This has helped me to become a better father and husband, and has empowered me to be a more godly leader of my family.
– David Wolfenberger
The Blessing Interview has been a valuable experience for candidates preparing for the Blessing, as they leave the interview with a liberated heart and begin their marriage with a clean conscience and determined spirit. Here is what some of the applicants have shared about their experience doing a Blessing Interview:
Before the Blessing Interview, I was extremely nervous. My biggest fear was being rejected and judged. I’ve always had this fear with me and sharing my struggles with someone I haven’t met was very intimidating. Especially because I developed many insecurities and trust issues. When I first met Aunt “Interviewer” she embraced me and I felt so welcomed and loved. After this, it helped me open up more and to not be afraid. During the interview, Aunt “Interviewer” guided me through it and gave me lots of guidance and I felt at peace in my heart. I let myself go and wasn’t afraid to share all of my past. Afterwards, we shared lots of laughter and got to know each other better. Even though I only met Aunt “Interviewer” for a couple hours, I felt like part of a family and felt lots of joy. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to have shared my struggles and life with Aunt “Interviewer” and the interview really helped me begin anew. – Female 24
I was fairly nervous before going into the Blessing Interview. I personally left the church as I struggled with a lot of judgement from others and my own insecurities. Despite this, Uncle “Interviewer” is one of the only people I can trust with my life. I was happy to see them and their welcoming and loving spirit eased my nervousness before the interview. During the interview, it was not easy to let everything out about my struggles and past. I’m the type that keeps everything inside, but Uncle “Interviewer” was very supportive throughout the process and was there for me as an example to receive God’s grace. I felt renewed after the interview and let everything go and determined myself to start anew. Not everything is resolved, but I no longer felt trapped as I did in the past. I know I can keep moving forward from here to receive a beautiful Blessing with my eternal partner. I am so grateful for having so much love and support from Uncle “Interviewer” and Aunt “Interviewer”. – Male 24
Want to become a Blessing Interviewer? Click here for more information on how to become a Blessing Interviewer.