Healing Through Being Present
By Myrna Lapres
Last week, I found myself in a multi-leveled parking garage at the MARTA station in Atlanta, walking around clicking my remote to locate my car. That morning, in my haste to arrive at my destination on time, I had failed to make note of which level and section I parked in. After 20 minutes, I heard the faint beep several levels below. I finally located my car!
Once in my car and on my way home, I began to think about how this incident applied to my own life. I am a doer! I thrive on organizing, making lists, accomplishing tasks, getting things done. On my healing journey, I have begun to realize that it is my way of making order out of chaos. It is my “safe place” where I don’t deal with feelings and emotions.
However, I am also learning this stops me from being present. Being a doer keeps me from connecting to myself, my family and my loved ones on a deeper level. How often in life am I not present to my impact on my husband because I am caught up in getting a project completed? When was the last time that I missed the cues in my son’s voice as he wanted to tell me more about the challenges of balancing work, life, family and the addition of a new baby? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I complained about the tension in my shoulders without realizing that I am not making enough time for self-care?
So, how does one undo years of “doing” and grow to be more present? First,it must start with being more connected to myself. For me, the awareness began a long time ago, but I fought it tooth and nail, always falling back into what I knew—the familiarity of doing. But just over four years ago, my husband and I moved to Georgia for his work and I found myself without all the “doer hats” that I had been wearing.
I struggled to find what I was supposed to “do.” I read “Who Moved the Cheese?”, “What Color is My Parachute?” and I did a bunch of crying, praying and meditating. Finding a nearby yoga studio gave me the opportunity to become more self-aware and taught me incredible lessons about being more flexible and letting things to flow. Joining a community band allowed me to reconnect with the love and joy of creating music with others while playing my flute.
Over the past few years, I have discovered my passion for working with others as they begin to heal their relationships and their families. Over and over, I am reminded that healing is a process of being intentional, takes being present and involves peeling back layer after layer to discover our true self. It takes a willingness to do the work.
“Recovery of Your Inner Child” is a book that is helping me to heal. The author Lucia Capacchione says, “For us to be fully human, the Child Within must be embraced and expressed…Inside every adult, there is a child crying, ‘Let me out.’” Look for more on this in future blogs.
If you would like support on your own healing journey, please go to my website and connect with me. www.coachmyrna.org