The reason why I value the Marriage Blessing Ceremony is quite simple. In one week I was both “married” and “blessed” in our church’s ceremony. What I noticed as the main difference only became really apparent after much reflection. It was and remains the purpose and the standard of the Holy Marriage Blessing that I am most grateful for. There is no discernible goal to a traditional marriage.
“I’m getting married”
“Because I love this person”
“What happens after that?”
“We stay married…hopefully…and have kids…hopefully…and stay married…hopefully”
This is the conversation I have with most of my non-Unificationist friends. The Blessing really has a clear set of goals connected to it which add infinite value to the institution of marriage, the individuals involved, and society at large.
Because both my wife and I share an understanding of the standards and value of the Blessing, our personal differences have no power in contrast to our commonalities.
We have had our ups and downs of course, but because of the glue that keeps us together (God), we honestly are constantly able to move forward as a couple regardless of the situation.
After having our first and (so far) only child, it really added a great deal of both joy and stress to our hectic lives. The only thing that got us through teething, sleepless nights, fevers, etc, is our commitment to loving and serving one another. Of course we stumble and revert to bad habits, but our ultimate desire to want what is best for the other and for our son always trumps all else.
We have some very lofty goals for the coming decade, so right now we are focusing on how to keep one another accountable to living up to the self we would like to be. Our son is either going to grow up in the greatest world or most conflicted world in history and we know that our efforts play an enormous part in that.
This year Uyanga and I discovered how much we have to take care of each other in order for anything else in our lives to work. We had an externally difficult year with two moves, starting our own business, driving across the country, and much more. We realized that no matter what we might be going through, the most important thing we can ever do is stop and appreciate one another. That is the power of the Blessing for me. Instead of being haggard after a tough year, we love each other now more than ever. She has seen me at my worst and still given me so much love and support – how can I not return the favor? Our commitment to each other keeps us moving forward, but our mutual respect for the Blessing keeps us moving in the same direction – and it’s a wonderful thing!