Co-authors, Ken and Verena Hardman, married for more than 35 years, provide a well-researched, experience-based marriage preparation guidebook. It encompasses the best marriage and family practices observed in Western and Eastern cultures corroborated by the social sciences.
What inspired you to write this book?
“During the past 14 years, researching and writing this book has truly been a labor of love. As our children were coming of age, necessity became our teacher. As a way of becoming serious students of marriage and family, we were encouraged to learn from the best marriage and family educators by reading their books and teaching them to others–chapter-by-chapter. That is what we did in our home guiding discussions of the books’ lessons learned with other couples and with our children. Humbled by what we did not know, we were also relieved that we did not need to have a conflict-free marriage to have a happy marriage, and relieved that we did not need to be perfect parents to be caring and responsible parents. We were reminded again and again how love is so widely misunderstood, and that single adults need some simple insights and words to talk about lasting love and marriage. Not only that, we discovered that with enough effort, a teacher can learn more than the student, and that the best teachers about love and marriage should be parents. We hope that this book can provide you with tools that help you prepare for marriage, or to enrich your marriage, or help you guide your children to form healthy marriages.”
For whom did you write the book?
“The book is written for individuals of various backgrounds:
1. Anyone seeking a safe, smart, wise basis for choosing a lifelong partner and forming a happy, healthy and fulfilling marriage. A Better Way To Marry provides concepts and a vocabulary to understand and knowledgeably talk about love, intimacy, sexuality and marriage, and what to look for in a potential marriage partner and in yourself.
2. Singles tired of the disappointments, dishonesty, hazards and heartbreaks in the contemporary dating scene. While we encourage single adults to partner with their parents to choose their life partner for marriage, even if they are unable to do so, this book provides helpful guidelines for self-matching or partnering with other “trusted” supporters.
3. Parents (married or divorced) desiring to support their children to form healthy, happy marriages. They need not have had a perfect marriage to wisely coach and mentor their children to make the most important decision of their lives. We can all learn how to improve our levels of marital satisfaction and support one another to make our lives better together. Lifelong learning is for everyone.
4. Parents who desire to heal strained relationships with their single adult children. Partnering with them to follow a safe and wise path to marriage can be a trust-building experience.
5. Married couples seeking to enrich and enhance their marriages. The entry-level attitudes and relationship skills necessary to begin marriage are essential throughout a marriage. When parents mentor their children, they enrich their own marriage and demonstrate dedication to improve their marriage and be the best example that they can be for their children.
6. Families desiring a sustainable basis for expanding intergenerational unity.
7. High net-worth families concerned with risk management and wealth preservation. Family discord and nasty divorces can disrupt family businesses and bankrupt human and financial assets.
8. Westerners desiring a more rational, success-formula approach to marriage.
9. Those from Eastern cultures who hope to counter the trend of rising divorces among their educated children, and who value respect for elders, kinship, and family traditions.”
Top Reviews on Amazon
“The husband-and-wife authors, Ken and Verena Hardman, draw upon numerous studies and sources to analyze whether the contemporary cultural assumptions about relationships are borne out in fact. Readers may be stunned to find that both the unquestioned ideals of romantic attraction, and the pseudo-science of computer matchmaking, are deeply flawed in terms of leading to lasting, happy marriages.”
“This is an excellent book! Marriage is more than two people tying the knot. The comprehensive family approach to marriage outlined in this book makes a lot of sense. I highly recommend it.”
“An excellent book, providing strategies, and promoting love and healthy relationships not only between a couple, but within the families of each. “A Better Way to Marry” is a wonderful and profound read introducing well researched and thought out ideas to prepare for long-lasting, healthy and happy marriage.”