Contributed by Benjy Uyama, BFM Project Manager
To Matching Candidates and Parents,
I recently participated in an eventful Global Matching Festival in Korea. Can you imagine what an event with that title might have looked like? It was quite beautiful actually.
The intention of the event was to open the hearts and minds of all participating candidates and parents to the possibility of an international matching. We all know how much True Father emphasized the value of an international marriage, but many of us have concepts about other countries, cultures, and languages that limit us from finding a potentially great match, or even considering new possibilities. If we look past race and culture, and see everyone as unique children of God, then a world of beautiful possibilities opens up to us.
This Festival was only the beginning of more events that will open the doors to let God work.
Here at the BFM, we have seen again and again that candidates who put their best foot forward as they prepare for the matching process, communicate well with their Matching Team, and always maintain an open mind to possible matches are the candidates that pursue the healthiest and happiest marriages.
But how can I prepare well for matching? Well, I’m glad you asked!
1. Look Past the Superficial.
I am often baffled by how quickly some candidates and parents dismiss a possible match simply based on external factors, such as height, skin complexion, or educational background. If you are currently preparing for the matching process, I invite you to consider looking at every matching candidate as a unique individual with infinite value—a son/daughter of God—and then consider communicating with that mindset.
I can tell you from personal experience that giving everyone a chance will greatly increase your odds of an amazing relationship that you never thought possible. I mean, in what universe would I have ever considered getting Blessed with a woman from the northern-most parts of Japan who speaks very little English? When the opportunity to be matched and Blessed with my wife presented itself, I never thought for a moment that I could ever learn to speak Japanese and travel to her hometown every summer with our two children! Oh the wonders of life.
Think not: “Who is the best candidate?” But rather think: “Who shares my values and vision and will help me grow and develop the most?”
2. Luck Favors the Prepared.
Let’s imagine that you are a parent who is searching for a spouse for your own child. What would be one of the first things you look for in a potential match? More than likely, you would want to know how much preparation they’ve made to be ready for a relationship. This is exactly what candidates and families look for when considering a match.
If you are not yet a qualified Matching Candidate, we strongly encourage you to get going on that. Becoming a qualified Matching Candidate may take a bit of work, but I think we all would agree that taking some time to focus on preparing for your future marriage is a good investment 😉 Click here to learn more about becoming a candidate..
There will be more events like the Global Matching Festivals in the future, and only qualified candidates are presented.
3. Get Searching.
How do we actually go about finding a possible match? We don’t know anyone! That’s a valid question. Fortunately, the answer might be right in front of us… Matching Websites!!! I can’t emphasize enough how valuable the matching websites are. A website full of candidates who are investing in their future marriage and looking for someone who shares their values? Yes please! As you go through the matching websites, if you see someone that you would consider communicating with, discuss it with your team and just reach out to see what’s possible! Once you start talking, you might just click. You never know.
It’s probably one of the scariest things in the world to put yourself out there. But no good relationship ever happened without getting a little uncomfortable. It’s all part of the process of growing and learning, right? Click here to learn more about the matching websites.
Once you start communicating with someone, take your time to get to know them. We always recommend communicating for at least six months before committing to be Blessed in marriage.
Once you follow the above three points, we’d like to acknowledge you for being so proactive. Just the fact that you did the work to become a qualified candidate shows that you are a responsible, marriageable, and committed individual.
After meeting with the many families at the Global Matching Festival and through our work at the BFM, I am convinced that God has a hand in the lives of each of you. There is no doubt that there is someone for you that will help you grow into the beautiful couple and family that True Parents envision. Please keep that vision strong in your mind.
Feel free to reach out to our BFM team if you need further support at firstname.lastname@example.org.
God Bless you,